Is there anything you did that you wish you wouldn’t have done?
Question by נєѕѕι¢α (ανα’ѕ мσмму): Is there anything you did that you wish you wouldn’t have done?
When raising your children, have there been things that you look back on and wish you wouldn’t have done the things you did?
My daughter is 15 months and there is one particular thing that sticks out in my mind that I wish I never would have done when she was younger, but I want to see what other moms have to say.
Cade’s mommy 🙂 – I emailed you with mine..
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14 Responses to Is there anything you did that you wish you wouldn’t have done?
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I try not to have any regrets when it comes to raising my son.
One thing i wish i would have done tho, would be spending more time with my son when he was very little. I was too worried about keeping the house clean, doing laundry and that sort of stuff, where as i should have just sat around all day holding him, and just enjoying the moment.
ツ Connors Mommy ツ
November 24, 2013 at 2:32 pm
I think we do a lot of things that we regret when it comes to our children. I wish I had kept a list so I could give a specific example, but I admit that I probably yelled at my kids too often. If this makes me a bad mommy, then so be it.
I used to kid that I probably did so many bad things that I rated an entire wing in the Bad Mommy Hall of Fame (New Jersey Division). But other parents have assured me that they too, have often not done the right thing and yet, their children survived.
My daughters are now 18 and 15. The older one attends a prestigious university, was an honor student all through school and will hopefully end up doing great and wonderful things. Her sister is also an honor student, a really good kid with a lot of potential. So maybe I haven’t been that bad a mother after all.
Marilyn R
November 24, 2013 at 3:13 pm
i have have some. i think all parents have regrets (or wish they would of handled it different) no body is perfect and if they say no regrets or should haves they are lying. dont worry you are a great mom i am sure. good luck
Dawn R
November 24, 2013 at 3:24 pm
I wish we hadn’t moved back to Vegas for the 7 months that we did. My husband would be higher up at his job (came back to the same job), and we’d have saved right at 20k on our house! Neither are that big of a deal, but thats one, that if we’d have known ahead of time…we wouldn’t have done.
As for raising the kids and actual parenting, we would have not babyproofed so much with our first! We went all out, and it was hard to teach her to leave things alone once we removed the baby proofing stuff. We see a huge difference with our son, by not having done all the babyproofing we did with our daughter.
Another one is that we would not haven given chance after chance, to “bad” family members. It was just 2 years of nothing but drama, that could have been avoided. But we didn’t want to do it alone without our parents involved in ours or our kids’ lives…..so we kept giving chances. It got us nowhere, but hurt and dissapointed in the long run. Since they have been estranged by our doing, things have been very pleasant though.
* Like the answer below mine, I wish I’d have tried harder with the breastfeeding with our first two! I made it 3 weeks with our first, and 3 months with our second…then gave up on it out of my own convienience and not wanting to be sore. That was stupid, and I’m going to try harder this time.
*8w3d* ~till induction~ *YAY*
November 24, 2013 at 4:00 pm
I wish I would have stuck it out with breastfeeding. It was a poor, unresearched choice on my part. I wish I would not have taught him to turn off the tv, but that doesnt really count. I cant think of anythng else, if I do I will add.
Cade can't hear the trolls!
November 24, 2013 at 4:32 pm
My kids are 10 & 11 and I wish I would have spent more time playing with them. I wish I wouldn’t have been so serious at times. A couple of times I raised my voice and felt badly afterward. If I had do-overs, I would leave the dishes until later. They don’t have to be done immediately, no matter what anyone says. I wouldn’t get so freaked out about toys being left out when their dad got home from work. I would be sillier and less serious about the little things. As I look back I see that most of the stuff I got upset about seemed to work out anyway. I also try not to be too hard on myself. I’ve always tried to do the best I could and I know that I’ve made some mistakes. Just learn from yours and remember that your daughter loves you unconditionally. Hang in there, esp. when you’re stressed and know that there are people out there who are going through the same things you are.
girlknight
November 24, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t projected my paranoia on my first daughter so much. About food, getting hurt, staying so close to me and being way too protective. I am feeling to effect from that every day. She’s very dependent on me. Sometimes, though, I think maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe she’ll not try drugs or have sex early and be careful about walking home alone from a bar or party when she’s in college. But, part of me hopes I haven’t hurt her trust in people.
*smile*
November 24, 2013 at 4:55 pm
I think most of you who know me, know the nature of the things that plague my conscience and cause me to question whether I am a “good mom”.
But looking back, no. I would not change a thing. I would not do anything differently. I believe that the courses of events that have unfolded throughout my life all happened for a reason. It was all part of a higher plan, and I was given a choice to go on making the same mistakes, or to learn from them, and share my experience and strength with others who are suffering.
I’m not sure if my answer is quite on topic with your question. But, oh well…
There are things I did when Corey was a baby. I wouldn’t call them mistakes; they were more uneducated decisions than anything. An example would be early weaning. He was nursing beautifully; I was staying home with him, and there was really no reason to stop nursing him. His doctor put a bee in my bonnet about getting him used to a bottle and, a month later, he was weaned from the breast completely. Would I change that if I could go back and do it over again? No. I’m glad I had that experience, as it’s opened my eyes today to how quickly a mother will supress her own instinct and blindly follow a doctor’s advice. I can empathize with moms who didn’t breastfeed because they were given misinformation.
Don’t spend your time and energy thinking about things you shouldn’t have done. Analyze the experience. See how you can learn and grow from it. I still think you might someday make a wonderful family planning/teen pregnancy counseler. Cherish these experiences, as you may need them to help others in the future.
Edit: Cade’s Trolls are Glistening and Rainwriterm- I don’t think I worded that correctly. I know I am a good mom; I just made some poor choices in the past. I’m still on the long path to self-forgiveness. But I do thank you for your kind words.
B&B is Infinite
November 24, 2013 at 5:15 pm
There are things that I swore I would never do yet did. I have a really hard time with regrets, though. I remember in church one day a few months after I got married an old lady sharing what she learned about regrets. She said that we shouldn’t think about the negative things in our past because we can’t change them. We can only change what we’re doing now and what we will do in the future. It’s really simple, but coming from someone with so much life experience it seemed really profound.
I’ve left Alex to cry it out plenty of times. I know that CIO is a horrible thing, but I justify myself in it by saying that I only did this *after* he already knew how to fall asleep on his own. I also only do this when any of our attempts at making this better just make things worse. Still, CIO is CIO, so I guess I’m a hypocrite.
B&B, I agree. I’ve never questioned your mothering abilities. It’s been really obvious since I first “met” you that you are a great mom. Same goes for Jessica too, and a whole slew of other moms here.
rainwriterm
November 24, 2013 at 6:00 pm
I have with my 2 year old, i took her to a haunted house and to this day she hates halloween and she hates going in spook houses she calls them.
I doubt she will ever go in one.
I would love to know yours, i am trying to get to e-mail other mommys so maybe we can chat sometime, just e-mail me.
Juana M
November 24, 2013 at 6:40 pm
I want to know what yours is!!!!!
I am trying to think….
When Gracee was like a week old, I covered her with a blanket…and when I went to check on her a couple minutes later the blanket was over her face. I started crying hysterically thinking of what could have happened. I felt like a horrible mom!
Gracee's Mommy
November 24, 2013 at 7:35 pm
No, I don’t. I’ve learned from each and every experience, but I never wish that I did things differently.
CEM
November 24, 2013 at 8:17 pm
I wish I would have breastfeed until he was a year. I stopped at 7 and a half months. It was just too much with going to school full-time and working crazy hours. I never had the time to pump like I should have. Next time around I’m taking more time to myself and tough crap everyone else is going to have to wait. I also wish I wouldn’t have had to go back to school so soon. He was only 3 weeks. I wish I could have had more time to just be a new mommy. Oh well I can’t live in the past. Next time around will be different I can promise you that. Heck next semester is going to be different. Less classes and more family time. I just don’t care about it as much anymore.
Supermommy!!!
November 24, 2013 at 9:12 pm
I wish, like alot of the others, that I wasn’t so serious all the time. And that I could let some things go- cleaning, dishes, laundry, and spend quality time w/my son.
But thank you for your question- it has made me realize that I need to pay more attention to what I am paying attention to and make sure it’s where my energy needs to be focused on!
zach's mom
November 24, 2013 at 10:01 pm