My life is too good my parents are too good.. I just want to be a bad girl not so good?

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Question by Barbie♥♥: My life is too good my parents are too good.. I just want to be a bad girl not so good?
Ok my life is too good I am a full time student, my parents pay my full tuition I have a car a 2007 Dodge Caliber I have good parents who loved me and cared and talked to me and its just too much I’m like tired of it.. I wish that I would have messed up when I was younger I wish I would not have had parents that constantly lectured me on being a good girl and person and had the “birds and bees” talk.. I wish I would have gotten pregnant at 16 and worked hard (kinda I mean I hate working) I just wish that it wasn’t so perfect like I would give this life to anyone else I mean I want to be that girl who.. had a kid young, and idk had sex for the first time when i was like 13.. I just wish that I wasn’t such a good kid and not its too late because I’m 19 and I’v never had a boyfriend and my life is good but it sucks to me and i hate it.. and I don’t know why I mean i should be lucky there are people who would love to be in my position but I would rather be in theres..whats wrong here??

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4 Responses to My life is too good my parents are too good.. I just want to be a bad girl not so good?

  1. You’re bored.

    Carry on living the good life – you don’t know hardship, so you wont actually want to be in the position where it is hard. It isn’t fun, and you wouldnt like it.

    But theres nothing wrong with rebelling a little inside yourself, while still being a ‘good girl’. Change your way of thinking, and your view, to make life more fun – but still remember your responsibilities and to not mess things up for everyone.

    March 4, 2014 at 11:27 pm

  2. You just need to realize that that is who you are. I mean, I’ve done things that I absolutely regret and that have cost me tons of money. I’m only 17. Be happy that you live the life you do, because it’s the only one you get.

    March 4, 2014 at 11:36 pm

  3. It’s natural to want your freedom and your own choices and a bit of life experience at this age, especially when you have been so protected. But don’t worry too much about it. Things may seem perfect now but you will see as time goes by that naturally you will have a lot of challenges to deal with, it’s how life is, full of surprises, some not so good.
    Meanwhile you could try to do something a bit challenging, to expand your horizons, plan a trip abroad, or go volunteer helping poor people, to get to learn their reality better, start an activity that is very different than your usual routine.The trick is to exercise and satisfy your rebel side without getting yourself into stupid situations with bad consequences.

    Priscilla F
    March 5, 2014 at 12:04 am

  4. I really don’t think your parents are to blame here. You remind me of a good friend that I had in school. Both she and I had “good” backgrounds, with cautious parents, but we couldn’t have been more different. There have been many kids who had cautious parents. Some of those kids listened devotedly to their parents’ warnings, and interpreted them broadly, and made up some rules of their own, and stayed safely at home in bed by 9. Some of those kids were unquenchable. They got their lecture on the birds and the bees, and then when Mom and Dad went to bed, they put on their skimpiest outfits, snuck out a window and did everything Mom and Dad just told them not to do, alcohol, sex, drugs, crime, boyfriends who were old enough to be their fathers, all of it. In fact, it was an old joke in school about “preacher’s kids”. They were the most cautiously raised, and the wildest kids in school. My friend was the obedient, cautious type of kid. It finally got to the point, around age 19, where her parents had a talk with her and explained that, even though they would worry if she was out late, that it was really OK if she wanted to stay out sometimes. Even they started to worry about the restrictions she was placing on herself.

    It is the nature of your personality that you placed restrictions on yourself, maybe even hid behind your parents’ “rules”, to avoid challenging social situations. Your first step should be counselling. You need to come to a better understanding of how you got where you are. By simply blaming your “life” and your parents, you are externalizing all of the responsibility for the social challenges that you face. You are not inquiring into the factors that had the most to do with where you are today, that you have the most control over — YOUR OWN attitude and behavior. This is where you will find your solution. The good news is that, instead of chucking all your great benefits, you can use those resources to your advantage, to get to where you want to be, which is more socially active. A good education, money, a car, and no kid to worry about, and being old enough to participate, are all great lubrication in planning social activities. I promise you, those poor struggling kids that you want to trade places with, who couldn’t afford a car, and couldn’t afford the money to go to the same places where all the other kids were going, who got pregnant at 16, also felt that they were being left behind socially.

    Funny story. I once overheard a coworker mention that he hadn’t had a girlfriend in six years. “Maybe I need to buy a new truck”, he said. I have to admit that the three of us girls who overheard him had a bit of a giggle. Someone should have had the heart to tell him that if he hadn’t had a girlfriend in six year, a new truck wasn’t going to solve his problem. He was a fairly handsome fellow, friendly, with a good job. There was definitely material there to work with. But before he could fix the problem, he was going to have to understand it was going to require some personal growth. He wasn’t going to be able to buy his way out of it with a new truck.

    It’s not your “position” that’s the problem, it’s what you choose to do with it. And, it is not “too late” to do something about it. 19 is a perfect age to ramp up your social life.

    I suspect you may struggle with anxiety. And, because of that, you avoid situations that cause you to feel anxiety, and that causes you to consciously make decisions to avoid the normal social opportunites that most other people your age engage in. You are also a bit inclined to sit around and brood instead of roll up your sleeves and dive in. Read up on social anxiety and learn how other people cope with it. Go see a counselor. Read up on stress management techniques, like self-hypnosis, visualization, progressive relaxation, massage. Use techniques to manage your mood, like exercise and exposure to sunlight, or even supplements and herbals. If you can afford it, I REALLY recommend hypnosis. It is absolutely wonderful, and very effective. Read a bit on depression and see if it fits with what you’ve been experiencing.

    Develop a program to get yourself more socially involved. Start with joining some new groups or activities. Make sure it will be a mixed group of males and females around your age. Join “ToastMasters” to gain confidence in interacting with a group of people. Consider getting a job in retail, working at a counter, like in a movie theater, or waittressing, where you will be forced to interact with lots of people everyday. This will help you develop the skills for meeting and greeting strangers, and getting comfortable with them more quickly. Even if you don’t feel like it, make yourself get out of the house and do things that bring you into contact with other people. Don’t just go sit somewhere alone in a crowd. Get involved, like taking scuba lessons or goi

    Margaret K
    March 5, 2014 at 12:16 am

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