is this poetry or rubbish?
Question by Duncan w ™ ®: is this poetry or rubbish?
I and you walking at night
the rain makes the street sizzle
under tires of cars
full of other people
going other places
your voice is a knife
my innards turn to cool water
you turn away, make me raise my voice
to be heard over the sodden planet
I swear under my breath
and forget why I ever loved you
for a moment.
(and please, all you scholars out there, keep your comments about punctuation to yourself and go read some bill bisset)
Feel free to answer in the comment section below
5 Responses to is this poetry or rubbish?
Leave a Reply to MOLE BUMPS Cancel reply
I think its pretty good, keep rereading it to see if there’s anything you want to add or change otherwise, I like it.
Pumpkin
June 24, 2014 at 7:54 am
I thought it was good . And poetry does not need punctuation.
Kennith C
June 24, 2014 at 8:40 am
You have sharp words too you edgimicated one, it sunk into me and I feel your passion brother Shakey.
MOLE BUMPS
June 24, 2014 at 8:49 am
I popped in today
to booked a flight home
I saw your poem
I would never take anything you say
as rubbish
Love is and always will bee
A sting.
Muwah
Ronnie
X
Veronika
June 24, 2014 at 9:27 am
Seems like you woke in a cold sweat and can’t find the cover that fell to the floor. Spray some Windex to the forehead.
tyler durden Oƒƒicial
June 24, 2014 at 9:42 am