is this poetry or rubbish?

Filed under: Bees |

Question by Duncan w ™ ®: is this poetry or rubbish?
I and you walking at night
the rain makes the street sizzle
under tires of cars
full of other people
going other places
your voice is a knife
my innards turn to cool water
you turn away, make me raise my voice
to be heard over the sodden planet
I swear under my breath
and forget why I ever loved you

for a moment.

(and please, all you scholars out there, keep your comments about punctuation to yourself and go read some bill bisset)

Feel free to answer in the comment section below

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5 Responses to is this poetry or rubbish?

  1. I think its pretty good, keep rereading it to see if there’s anything you want to add or change otherwise, I like it.

    June 24, 2014 at 7:54 am

  2. I thought it was good . And poetry does not need punctuation.

    Kennith C
    June 24, 2014 at 8:40 am

  3. You have sharp words too you edgimicated one, it sunk into me and I feel your passion brother Shakey.

    June 24, 2014 at 8:49 am

  4. I popped in today
    to booked a flight home
    I saw your poem
    I would never take anything you say
    as rubbish

    Love is and always will bee
    A sting.

    June 24, 2014 at 9:27 am

  5. Seems like you woke in a cold sweat and can’t find the cover that fell to the floor. Spray some Windex to the forehead.

    tyler durden Oƒƒicial
    June 24, 2014 at 9:42 am

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