FREAKING OUT do i have the swine flu?

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Question by Turd Eating Retard: FREAKING OUT do i have the swine flu?
i have redness/cysts in the groin area, excessive flatulence, increased sexual urges, severe acne, frequent bowel movements, jaundice, and stinky breath. i also have blue slime coming out of my anus. does this mean i have the swine flu?

What do you think? Answer below!

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10 Responses to FREAKING OUT do i have the swine flu?

  1. Be gone from me trollman.

    ♡ Jes
    January 13, 2014 at 2:48 am

  2. Ok you have none of the symptoms for H1N1. I don’t know if your joking around but if you are serious then go to the hospital ASAP.

    January 13, 2014 at 3:01 am

  3. When you pop your zits do little piglets squirt out? If not you don’t have it.

    January 13, 2014 at 3:13 am

  4. Piglet flu.

    January 13, 2014 at 3:15 am

  5. You have what we call “troll flu.”

    It’s a horribly contagious disease that causes people to have absolutely no life, and to constantly write messages that make people feel sorry for them, to ask obvious questions, or to act immature beyond belief.

    Cure: currently none, unfortunately.

    January 13, 2014 at 4:01 am

  6. i think u are going through puberty again

    January 13, 2014 at 4:34 am

  7. Should You Worry?

    In my opinion not really, but you should always be prepared.

    I say on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being “who cares” and 10 being “it is time to get your food, guns and herbs in the basement and staple-gun 10-mil plastic over your house”, we are currently at a Stage 3.

    Medical doctors, scientists all agree that we are overdue for a worldwide influenza pandemic of huge proportions. That said, in spite of the news hysteria, the reality is that very little is actually known so far, and very few people are getting sick, fewer hospitalized, and very few deaths, but it is certainly worth watching and being cautious.

    It could turn into a worldwide pandemic killing millions and millions, but it probably won’t.

    I say this simply because my parents went through the big Swine Flu Scare of 1976, when I was just born infact, the American government’s panic was so overblown, they said that we were going to have a killer Swine Flu epidemic pandemic. They almost forced inoculations, Congress actually voted it in, and people lined up and rushed to get their Swine Flu Shot. Television and newspapers made millions, pharmaceutical companies made billions, and then… nothing happened. Well, actually something did happen.

    There were very few cases of actual Swine Flu, but 25 times more people died from the inoculation than from the Swine Flu itself. So, I have seen flu panic, and medical flu treatment, kill.

    Also, to put this in perspective, hundreds of Americans die every year from taking aspirin, and to date, 100 more people have died so far this year from bee stings in America than the Swine Flu, and 1 million will die from taking doctor prescribed prescription drugs, so we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, put this outbreak into perspective and observe. And we don’t need the government, the CDC, the WHO, the news media and the office of Homeland Security turning this into a political pandemic.

    sually animal virus like Bird Flu and Swine Flu do not pass to humans, and when they do they usually only infect a few people who have had direct contact with the animals.

    The concern is when many people start to get infected with the animal virus, and especially when people start getting that flu who didn’t come in direct contact with the animals. Then it is being spread from human-to-human. This means that the virus has shifted, drifted or mutated and has now figured out how to spread from human-to-human, instead from animal-to-human. When this happens, the virus could spread quickly and infect large numbers of the population.

    Currently with this virus, how easy it is spreading from human-to-human is not known. The medical community is worried that this may be one of those viruses that has mutated and is now easily spreading from human-to-human, but this is still unknown.

    How Bad Is It?

    Well, it depends who you listen to. Turn on the news and it almost looks like the end is near. The government isn’t helping either, with the Office of Homeland Security getting involved and the National Guard being called in to put armed guards around the Tamiflu supply. Well, actually all of this action is helping the hospitals and the pharmaceutical companies.

    Two days ago, on April 29th, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) announced that the WHO (World Health Organization) raised the alert level again to a Phase 5. A Phase 5 alert is a very serious alert. It means that there is a”strong signal that a pandemic is imminent and that the time to finalize the organization, communication, and implementation of the planned mitigation measures is short.” This is way premature!

    At the same time you should understand that there have only been a few hundred cases so far, only a few people have been hospitalized, and there has only been ONE OR TWO deaths in the United States. It is still a very, very small outbreak.

    One great advantage we have right now it that it is Spring heading into Summer. This is a harder time for viruses to spread because we are getting more fresh air and not confined in large groups inside where it is easier for the virus to spread. This is a real blessing. But again, at the same time, the rate at which it has spread so quickly is of concern.

    What I know is that every single winter, between October and April, influenza attacks Americans, killing 40,000 people a year (more than the deaths from breast cancer or prostate cancer) and puts hundreds of thousands in the hospital. I wish I could get this much press and attention every fall to wake people up to an annual epidemic that actually happens, kills and repeats itself every single year!

    What Should You Do to Protect Yourself?

    #1: Wash Your Hands
    First and foremost you should wash your hands more, 10 times a day. The bottom line is that you are most likely to come into contact with a virus (any virus) by touching something that an infected person has just touched. And, if you wash your hand

    2: Keep your Fingers OUT of your Eyes, Nose and Mouth
    If you do get viral infection on your fingers, and you then touch your eyes, nose or mouth, you will pass this virus directly into you. So stop touching yourself there.

    #3: Stay Healthy
    Even according to the Center for Disease Control’s website on Swine Flu, they suggest that you stay in good general health, get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food

    #4: Don’t Travel to Mexico
    Why be silly and go into an infected area? At the same time I would avoid crowds, especially coughing and sneezing people.

    #5: Just say NO to negativity.
    Nothing suppresses your immune system like bad news and bad attitudes. This is a time to stay positive, focus on the good, and support your immune system to keep you healthy.

    What would I do?

    Garlic –

    Garlic is our best broad-spectrum antibiotic, antiviral and antifungal herb. I would consume three cloves per day. Raw is best, so chop it up and get it down, especially if you are out and about.
    Nothing suppresses your immune system like bad news and bad attitudes. This is a time to stay positive, focus on the good, and support your immune system to keep you healthy.

    I would definately have 3 cloves of garlic a day to build my immune system and fight off viruses.

    Also echinacea to prevent getting sick and building my immune system

    Seles C.
    January 13, 2014 at 4:46 am

  8. You TOTALLY have swine flu! If you kick the bucket, can I have your stuff??

    January 13, 2014 at 5:43 am

  9. umm dude if you Sirius that get the hell out of here what is blur slime coming out of your butt ahhh i would shoot my self lol

    ryan w
    January 13, 2014 at 5:46 am

  10. you have sexual urges and your name on Yahoo Answers is Sex Cop…I’m not even gonna answer this one


    January 13, 2014 at 6:27 am

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